Diagnosis Epilepsy: Revelation of the Sacred Disease

Describing epilepsy as a "sacred disease" is a polite way of saying that my brain makes me different--distinct with a hint of danger. In the past few days as I've told friends and family that I was diagnosed with epilepsy, I've watched thoughts cross their faces.

"Will she have a seizure when I'm with her? What do I do?"
"But she seems so normal (considering)"
"Will she swallow her tongue or drown in the bathtub?"
"What can I do to help?"

This is a normal reaction and one that I've had myself in the last month. About a month ago, I had the second grand mal seizure (the losing consciousness, falling to the floor, twitching kind that comes to mind when you hear "seizure") in my life. I woke up in the emergency room and started a new phase of my life.

Now the disclaimer, this blog isn't designed to give medical or legal advice or answer all the questions that readers may have about epilepsy. It serves two purposes:

1. Describe one person's experience adapting to a new condition--something that many people go through when they receive an unexpected diagnosis like cancer, Grave's disease, or high blood pressure.
2. Distinguish between a condition and a person--my brain not only holds my personality and thoughts but it is also the source of my epilepsy. They are forever one and the same, intertwined until I die.

My goal is to write for six months--the amount of time I have to stay seizure free to be allowed to drive a car again. I lead a busy and sometimes wacky life. Carving out the time to write about this phase offers the opportunity for some self-discipline and an opportunity for reflection.